Tag Archives: weird shit

Sharks have real feelings, including sadness.

Absolutely Bizarre Humor

This shark is feeling very sad at the moment. That's quite obvious. This shark is feeling very sad at the moment. That’s quite obvious.

I have absolute photographic proof that certain ravenous, cold-blooded eating machines are in fact very sensitive creatures. You might want to give this sad shark a great big loving hug. I’m sure you’ll be touched.

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Amazing biotech miracle: How to grow a new penis!

You might grow two penises.
You might grow two penises.

Recently a human ear was grown on the stomach of a rat using stem cell technology.

Experimental biology has produced many amazing breakthroughs, including the ability to grow complete human organs. In the future, once medical technology reaches a certain level of advancement, humans might never die. Humans might become immortal. When an organ fails, it will be replaced.

This includes the penis.

Just think. Thanks to the advancement of scientific knowledge, when your limp old dick finally wears out (and it will), one day your doctor might be able to order a brand new one.

Like a forever-youthful god, you and your manly appendage will become immortal.

While it’s impossible to know the future precisely, each new penis that you acquire will probably be grown on a lobotomized clone, in a vat of liquid protein, or on a pig.

Genetic techniques might also be developed, greatly altering humans. Like a lizard regrowing its tail, your future self might be able to regrow a new penis. That is, after your useless old schlong is cut off.

It’s actually even possible that you might grow a second or third penis.

You might grow a second penis on your chin, for example. And then you might grow a third penis on your foot.

The future will be full of astonishing miracles!

The man who ate 18 bicycles, 7 televisions and 1 airplane.

A Cessna 150, one of the items Lotito ate.
A Cessna 150, one of the items Lotito ate.

Yes, such an unusual person existed. His name was Michel Lotito. He was one very hungry dude. Hungry for attention, that is.

Bananas and hard-boiled eggs made him sick, but inorganic matter was quite satisfying. He ate:

18 bicycles

15 shopping carts

7 televisions (before there were flat screens)

6 chandeliers

2 beds (I’m not sure if they were bunk beds)

1 pair of skis (mere toothpicks compared to everything else)

1 Cessna aircraft

1 coffin (I’m surprised this didn’t cause indigestion)

1 400 meter long steel chain (for dessert)

Now sing along with Mary Poppins: “Just a teaspoon of mineral oil helps the metal go down…”

I’ll bet his dentist (and the plumber) really loved him!

Oodles of sick demented nutjob wackadoodles.

Really nuts.
Really nuts.

So you want to see oodles and oodles of really sick demented nutjob wackadoodles? You’ve come to the right place!

These fine specimens of severely dysfunctional lame-brained humanity provide heaps and heaps of sadly insipid entertainment. Do such lunatics, losers, laggards and lunkheads actually exist? Yes, indeed. It seems reality is more tortured, twisted, trashy and tragic than even our most terrible imaginings.

You’ve been warned. Brace yourself. Take a deep breath. Here it comes…

Now swallow your pride and click this fascinating and pathetic link.

Weird-ass bikinis: sexy or just plain stupid?

Today we're much more advanced.
Today we’re much more advanced.

It seems fashion designers have severe psychological problems. They’ll do anything to gain attention. And they spend their troubled lives concocting new ways to put a thumb in your eye. Without fail, their productions are pointless, absurd and ridiculous. Can a bikini simply be a bikini? No. They’ll take a nice sexy piece of swimwear and turn it into a…fashion statement.

Weird-ass bikinis might be appropriate for weird asses. Not the beach.

Sexy or just plain stupid?

I vote stupid.

Meet the first REAL demon woman.

This female demon is probably a fake.
This female demon is probably a fake.

By demon woman, I don’t mean your ordinary demon woman, I mean a REAL DEMON woman! Is this authentically demonic, or what?

‘Dubbed ‘Vampire Woman’ by the Mexican media, the 35-year-old from Zapopan city in Jalisco state has 98 per cent ink coverage, scores of facial piercings, six teflon implants in her chest and arms, four horns on her head, four fangs, and – since these pictures were taken – a forked tongue. “I’m impersonating Lilith,” she adds.’

I’m not so sure Lilith would’ve approved. Seems a bit over the top. But I suppose this fine lady is always on top!

According to the article, she has four children. Or should I say spawn? I wonder what they think of good ol’ Mom. When she takes them to school, does the school go into lockdown?

The other day I saw a worker at Subway who appeared somewhat similar. But she had blue hair and no fangs. She did serve up my meatball six-incher with gusto! A bit hellish, but who’s complaining?

Potatoes on a plane!

Baked potato possibly found on a plane.
Baked potato possibly found on a plane.

If you loved Snakes on a Plane, you’ll go bonkers for Potatoes on a Plane. You’ll see spuds with dangerous cellphones populating a jumbo jet. Watch with rapt anticipation as potato passengers wing their way to possible oblivion! At least there was no annoying screaming.

I’m waiting with bated breath for the thrilling sequel.