Tag Archives: sexy

Stripper performs for wholesome, happy tourists.

Stripper performs for wholesome, happy tourists.
Stripper performs for wholesome, happy tourists.

It was another sunny Sunday afternoon in the park and everyone was enjoying a beautiful day. The wholesome, smiling tourists were just strolling along, licking ice cream cones, pushing baby strollers, taking it easy, smelling the freshly mowed grass, listening to the sweet music of birdsong, and watching an upside down stripper.

Why super horny people are interesting.

Sigmund Freud was interested in horny people.
Sigmund Freud was interested in horny people.

I’ve observed that super horny people have a tendency to be very interesting.

I can think of several reasons for this:

1. Super horny people have numerous amazing stories. And amazing stories are always associated with interesting people. Take, for example, the story of Elijah Goldfarb’s improbable conquest of Billy Johnson’s big fat drunk grandmother. Or the story of the thrill-seeking adventurers who went helmet diving in Jamaica and had an underwater orgy.

2. People who are super horny tend to be uninhibited. They’ll have wild sex almost anywhere. At any time. That makes them endlessly interesting. You might recall the instance of the farmer in Essex who built a sex den in his barn loft, and how at a hundred years old he still satisfied the ladies. Or that feature on the local news the other day: how spontaneous sex in women’s shoe stores is becoming quite fashionable. Amazing uninhibited horndogs are all around us. I know an interesting fellow who will always be remembered as the man who had sex in every seat in Dodger Stadium.

3. Extra horny folks are energetic. It’s hard to keep up with them. While you go about your normal, humdrum life, they’re pounding away and having loads of interesting fun.

4. The very horniest people often have a variety of fascinating lovers, affairs, fetishes, erotic toys, kinky rituals, piercings, perversions, addictions, personal issues, pregnancies and diseases. This enhances their life stories and makes them really interesting.

New online craze: telephone pole dancing.

Two dancers can strut their stuff.
Two dancers can strut their stuff.

The latest online fad might surprise you. But then again, it might not.

Sexy dancing in public utilizing a telephone pole is the newest, coolest online craze.

Surpassing even the worldwide planking phenomenon in popularity, telephone pole dancing videos are being uploaded to the internet at an astonishing pace.

Bored hipsters, wannabe celebrities, uber-nerds, imitative dullards and impressionable youth are donning their sexiest garb, then locating the nearest telephone pole. (Should you participate in this fad make certain you avoid wood telephone poles. Splinters can hurt. Especially those you’re apt to get while pole dancing.)

Madly gyrating around a telephone pole, telephone pole dancers while dancing are checking their telephones for videos of the latest telephone pole dancers. They’re hoping passersby with telephones (the type that do not require a pole) have uploaded a video of them doing their profound pole dance. Because millions will likely watch that video with awe.

Weird-ass bikinis: sexy or just plain stupid?

Today we're much more advanced.
Today we’re much more advanced.

It seems fashion designers have severe psychological problems. They’ll do anything to gain attention. And they spend their troubled lives concocting new ways to put a thumb in your eye. Without fail, their productions are pointless, absurd and ridiculous. Can a bikini simply be a bikini? No. They’ll take a nice sexy piece of swimwear and turn it into a…fashion statement.

Weird-ass bikinis might be appropriate for weird asses. Not the beach.

Sexy or just plain stupid?

I vote stupid.

Meet the first REAL demon woman.

This female demon is probably a fake.
This female demon is probably a fake.

By demon woman, I don’t mean your ordinary demon woman, I mean a REAL DEMON woman! Is this authentically demonic, or what?

‘Dubbed ‘Vampire Woman’ by the Mexican media, the 35-year-old from Zapopan city in Jalisco state has 98 per cent ink coverage, scores of facial piercings, six teflon implants in her chest and arms, four horns on her head, four fangs, and – since these pictures were taken – a forked tongue. “I’m impersonating Lilith,” she adds.’

I’m not so sure Lilith would’ve approved. Seems a bit over the top. But I suppose this fine lady is always on top!

According to the article, she has four children. Or should I say spawn? I wonder what they think of good ol’ Mom. When she takes them to school, does the school go into lockdown?

The other day I saw a worker at Subway who appeared somewhat similar. But she had blue hair and no fangs. She did serve up my meatball six-incher with gusto! A bit hellish, but who’s complaining?