Ten ways to get rid of an annoying house guest.

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Good-bye.  Farewell.  Good riddance.

Here are 10 extremely effective ways to quickly get rid of that annoying house guest:

1. Ask your guest to let you know if they see the escaped python.

2. Tell them to frequently wash their hands because the cat has worms again.

3. Thank them profusely for their help painting the garage tomorrow.

4. Find that old trombone you played in high school.

5. Tell them Aunt Margie with the defective hearing aid is coming over for dinner.

6. When your guest talks about their spouse, laugh at inappropriate moments.

7. Leave that really bizarre sex toy on the guest room nightstand.

8. Tell them Uncle Bob died in that bed.

9. Itching power in the bedsheets.

10. Eat lots of beans.

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