Please make sure you find a good lawyer. Your future existence might depend on it.
Today, thanks to the miracle of the internet, it’s possible for ugly people to make good money while engaging in weird sex.
But it’s possible you already know this.
The movie that prominently features a giant picking his nose and eating a booger has become subject of scandalous rumors on the internet.
According to an unnamed source who lives near Hollywood, it’s rumored that studio executives, fretting over a string of recent box office flops, spent hours in committee brainstorming how to draw movie audiences back to theaters. Finally, the idea of a spectacularly hideous CGI giant picking his nose and eating a colossal booger on screen was developed. According to this rumor, the concept was refined and thoroughly polled using dozens of panels comprised of ordinary moviegoers. Once the crucial booger-eating scene was green-lighted, a movie depicting rampaging giants, including one who devours enormous, congealed mucus, was formulated and heavily marketed.
Success. The movie has made millions.
Yes, you too can become (somewhat) rich and famous. All that’s required is a trivial mind.
Ogle Vanna, impress Alex, figure out what another completely ridiculous survey says, and scream and jump like a raving lunatic on your way to winning a trip to tourist paradise and suitcases full of cold hard cash (before taxes).
If you win a trip to Cawker City, Kansas, can you please, please, PLEASE take me along? I’ve always wanted to see the world’s largest ball of twine.
In my earlier post “find stashes of money in your city” I described my experience with a distinctive old gentlemen on the trolley.
Yesterday I saw him again while I was walking downtown!
He was sitting on one of the benches north of the Star of India, just gazing out at the water, and I stopped in surprise and asked him if he’d found any more money. I don’t think he recognized me.
He was grumbling on and on about how the police are out to treat him horribly.
“Don’t you remember our talk on the trolley about people hiding money?” I asked. His eyes brightened up and he asked me for a couple dollars.
If he found any more money, it doesn’t appear that he found much.
Here’s a great way to make some extra money! (Follow this advice only where this activity is legal.)
The other day I hauled a load of dead branches and stumps to the local landfill. While tossing debris from the back of my truck, I noted that there was a whole lot of interesting and potentially valuable garbage strewn about the dump. I took a few minutes, once my truck was empty, to pick through the trash. I found the following:
A very nice wooden stool with a broken leg.
A very expensive vacuum cleaner, broken and with no cord.
A bent umbrella.
A cracked aquarium.
A dozen or so bits of beautiful mud-covered stained glass.
A toilet seat.
Some sort of fancy electronic equipment that I haven’t yet identified.
A ton of slightly moldy magazines.
A very small roll of brand new green shag carpeting.
Plastic bags containing what appears to be an extensive collection of sparkly rocks.
Several pretty old shoes.
A few more interesting things I haven’t yet identified.
So far, I’ve made nearly 3 dollars!
The streets of your city might be paved with gold. Well, perhaps not paved with gold–just sprinkled with gold!
With a pie pan, a bucket of water, a broom and dustpan, it’s possible that you could make yourself wealthy!
In Manhattan, New York, a man named Raffi Stepanian has panned gold, diamonds and other precious gems from the city sidewalks… In one week he made $819!
He takes mud and debris from the sidewalks of the Diamond District and runs it through a filter. In these tough economic times, urban prospecting might catch on!
Check out his pic and video here.
Yesterday I rode the trolley home from work. You see all sorts of different people on public transportation, from all walks of life, and the older gentleman who sat opposite me was certainly interesting, and very talkative. He appeared to be homeless, though he never said that he was. He had indistinguishable tattoos all over and was deeply wrinkled and tangle-bearded and not terribly clean. But he sure was friendly.
During our rambling conversation, he somehow got to the subject of how to score free money. It was a topic that really animated him. He claimed that there were thousands of dollars hidden all over the city, and you just had to know where to look.
Apparently, people who live on the streets have a tendency to stash their money in secret but public places, to avoid being robbed. The fellow said that many homeless people use crystal meth to ease the pain of their situation, and that one unfortunate result of using that drug is that they become extremely forgetful. And bundles of cash are left forgotten in all sorts of unusual places.
With some skepticism I asked where all this money was hidden (I walk a lot downtown and I sure haven’t found any!) and he rattled off some likely places where he always searched.
He said that money was often left under larger stones, such as in public parks or in the landscaping in front of buildings. Or anything that can be easily lifted, in order to hide stuff undernearth. I thought to ask him if money was left under stepping stones, and he said no, almost never, it was too obvious.
He said underpasses or tunnels or similar dark places where the homeless sleep or hang out were probably the best places to look. He once found a couple hundred dollars dug into the dirt under a bridge. Anyway, that’s what he claimed, and he seemed perfectly serious.
According to him, hidden treasure can also be found behind pipes and vents along walls and in alleys, where passing people won’t notice. Also, in abandoned shopping carts that are full of collected junk. (I do see these from time to time, but they’re usually super disgusting, and I’ve never considered searching through them!)
Lastly, he mentioned public toilets, where the homeless often go to tidy up or engage in private activity, which he seemed to think was pretty funny. I don’t know where in a public restroom oodles of cash would be hidden–maybe under the sink?
I asked the old guy: when you find these caches of money, how do you know they were forgotten? He assured me that any money he found had been forgotten, and anyway, finders keepers and losers weepers.
I know that when I find coins on the sidewalk, I have no personal qualms about jingling them in my pocket. But if were to uncover hundreds of dollars…? Well, I suppose I’ll worry about that when it happens!
Are you in desparate need of money? Are you too embarrassed or self-conscious to stand on a street corner with a cardboard sign begging while people stare at you? It’s possible to beg on the internet at this cyber begging website!
There are several benefits to cyber panhandling. One, you beg 24/7 even while you sleep. Two, you beg from the entire online world, not just passing pedestrians and motorists. Three, you can tell your entire sad story, and make readers feel so sympathetic they’ll send a few bucks (or more) your way. Four, you can be anonymous if you choose, and thereby avoid embarrassment or discomfort. One drawback with this site is you have to pay to be on it. But if you think people will respond to your need, it might be worth a try.
Is it true? Is it really possible to avoid paying rent? That is, without staying in the basement at Mom and Dad’s?
Yes! You’ve come to the right place to learn about living super cheap!
There are quite a few ways to put a roof over your head without spending a single penny. Here’s a good list of things you might do. Check it out. Not only can you live rent-free, but you can actually make some money while doing it!