Please make sure you find a good lawyer. Your future existence might depend on it.
Today, thanks to the miracle of the internet, it’s possible for ugly people to make good money while engaging in weird sex.
But it’s possible you already know this.
The movie that prominently features a giant picking his nose and eating a booger has become subject of scandalous rumors on the internet.
According to an unnamed source who lives near Hollywood, it’s rumored that studio executives, fretting over a string of recent box office flops, spent hours in committee brainstorming how to draw movie audiences back to theaters. Finally, the idea of a spectacularly hideous CGI giant picking his nose and eating a colossal booger on screen was developed. According to this rumor, the concept was refined and thoroughly polled using dozens of panels comprised of ordinary moviegoers. Once the crucial booger-eating scene was green-lighted, a movie depicting rampaging giants, including one who devours enormous, congealed mucus, was formulated and heavily marketed.
Success. The movie has made millions.
Yes, you too can become (somewhat) rich and famous. All that’s required is a trivial mind.
Ogle Vanna, impress Alex, figure out what another completely ridiculous survey says, and scream and jump like a raving lunatic on your way to winning a trip to tourist paradise and suitcases full of cold hard cash (before taxes).
If you win a trip to Cawker City, Kansas, can you please, please, PLEASE take me along? I’ve always wanted to see the world’s largest ball of twine.
In my earlier post “find stashes of money in your city” I described my experience with a distinctive old gentlemen on the trolley.
Yesterday I saw him again while I was walking downtown!
He was sitting on one of the benches north of the Star of India, just gazing out at the water, and I stopped in surprise and asked him if he’d found any more money. I don’t think he recognized me.
He was grumbling on and on about how the police are out to treat him horribly.
“Don’t you remember our talk on the trolley about people hiding money?” I asked. His eyes brightened up and he asked me for a couple dollars.
If he found any more money, it doesn’t appear that he found much.
Here’s a great way to make some extra money! (Follow this advice only where this activity is legal.)
The other day I hauled a load of dead branches and stumps to the local landfill. While tossing debris from the back of my truck, I noted that there was a whole lot of interesting and potentially valuable garbage strewn about the dump. I took a few minutes, once my truck was empty, to pick through the trash. I found the following:
A very nice wooden stool with a broken leg.
A very expensive vacuum cleaner, broken and with no cord.
A bent umbrella.
A cracked aquarium.
A dozen or so bits of beautiful mud-covered stained glass.
A toilet seat.
Some sort of fancy electronic equipment that I haven’t yet identified.
A ton of slightly moldy magazines.
A very small roll of brand new green shag carpeting.
Plastic bags containing what appears to be an extensive collection of sparkly rocks.
Several pretty old shoes.
A few more interesting things I haven’t yet identified.
So far, I’ve made nearly 3 dollars!
The streets of your city might be paved with gold. Well, perhaps not paved with gold–just sprinkled with gold!
With a pie pan, a bucket of water, a broom and dustpan, it’s possible that you could make yourself wealthy!
In Manhattan, New York, a man named Raffi Stepanian has panned gold, diamonds and other precious gems from the city sidewalks… In one week he made $819!
He takes mud and debris from the sidewalks of the Diamond District and runs it through a filter. In these tough economic times, urban prospecting might catch on!
Check out his pic and video here.