I love modern conveniences. Here’s a cleverly designed train station that offers passenger boarding on two separate levels. In the above photograph, it appears many passengers disembarked on the sidewalk, where taxi cabs and other motorcars awaited.
Many have suggested that Batman isn’t really a superhero. They’ve put forth the theory that the Caped Crusader is nothing more than a sad, ineffective, lonely guy. And a bit of a creep.
I have two photographs which tend to give weight to this theory.
Here are rare photos of sad Batman out on a lonely walk down a city sidewalk, ignored by hundreds of passing citizens. The bat-obsessed fellow just shuffles along, seemingly in a daze, hiding from the cold, cruel world behind his black costume and bizarre mask.
Perhaps he identifies with the small, hated, flying rodent that is blind and hides all huddled up in darkness underground. Sad Batman seems to head nowhere, a lone figure, an anonymous soul, hungry for human contact, but shunning it.
It was another sunny Sunday afternoon in the park and everyone was enjoying a beautiful day. The wholesome, smiling tourists were just strolling along, licking ice cream cones, pushing baby strollers, taking it easy, smelling the freshly mowed grass, listening to the sweet music of birdsong, and watching an upside down stripper.
Here are 10 extremely effective ways to quickly get rid of that annoying house guest:
1. Ask your guest to let you know if they see the escaped python.
2. Tell them to frequently wash their hands because the cat has worms again.
3. Thank them profusely for their help painting the garage tomorrow.
4. Find that old trombone you played in high school.
5. Tell them Aunt Margie with the defective hearing aid is coming over for dinner.
6. When your guest talks about their spouse, laugh at inappropriate moments.
7. Leave that really bizarre sex toy on the guest room nightstand.
8. Tell them Uncle Bob died in that bed.
9. Itching power in the bedsheets.
10. Eat lots of beans.
I’ve observed that super horny people have a tendency to be very interesting.
I can think of several reasons for this:
1. Super horny people have numerous amazing stories. And amazing stories are always associated with interesting people. Take, for example, the story of Elijah Goldfarb’s improbable conquest of Billy Johnson’s big fat drunk grandmother. Or the story of the thrill-seeking adventurers who went helmet diving in Jamaica and had an underwater orgy.
2. People who are super horny tend to be uninhibited. They’ll have wild sex almost anywhere. At any time. That makes them endlessly interesting. You might recall the instance of the farmer in Essex who built a sex den in his barn loft, and how at a hundred years old he still satisfied the ladies. Or that feature on the local news the other day: how spontaneous sex in women’s shoe stores is becoming quite fashionable. Amazing uninhibited horndogs are all around us. I know an interesting fellow who will always be remembered as the man who had sex in every seat in Dodger Stadium.
3. Extra horny folks are energetic. It’s hard to keep up with them. While you go about your normal, humdrum life, they’re pounding away and having loads of interesting fun.
4. The very horniest people often have a variety of fascinating lovers, affairs, fetishes, erotic toys, kinky rituals, piercings, perversions, addictions, personal issues, pregnancies and diseases. This enhances their life stories and makes them really interesting.
Yes, such an unusual person existed. His name was Michel Lotito. He was one very hungry dude. Hungry for attention, that is.
Bananas and hard-boiled eggs made him sick, but inorganic matter was quite satisfying. He ate:
15 shopping carts
7 televisions (before there were flat screens)
2 beds (I’m not sure if they were bunk beds)
1 pair of skis (mere toothpicks compared to everything else)
1 Cessna aircraft
1 coffin (I’m surprised this didn’t cause indigestion)
1 400 meter long steel chain (for dessert)
Now sing along with Mary Poppins: “Just a teaspoon of mineral oil helps the metal go down…”
I’ll bet his dentist (and the plumber) really loved him!
So you want to see oodles and oodles of really sick demented nutjob wackadoodles? You’ve come to the right place!
These fine specimens of severely dysfunctional lame-brained humanity provide heaps and heaps of sadly insipid entertainment. Do such lunatics, losers, laggards and lunkheads actually exist? Yes, indeed. It seems reality is more tortured, twisted, trashy and tragic than even our most terrible imaginings.
You’ve been warned. Brace yourself. Take a deep breath. Here it comes…
Now swallow your pride and click this fascinating and pathetic link.