I spotted dear Uncle Elmer out this weekend enjoying himself. The cool Autumn evening was perfect for a romp. He donned his flight jacket and bounded about as the full moon rose.
Just in case you’d like to act extremely weird on a public bus, here are a few good ideas:
1. Show riders a map of New York and ask them for directions to Lake Michigan.
2. Ride in the front seat and act as a colorful tour guide.
3. Tell nearby riders that you’re Elvis.
4. Grab the nearest pole. Pole dance.
5. After slipping on Groucho Marx glasses, test a few of your new snappy jokes on a captive audience.
6. Duck behind your seat and provide a finger puppet show.
7. Use the hand straps for gymnastics.
8. The aisle is your stage. Be a mime!
9. Flap your arms like a chicken.
10. Tell a random stranger “Good morning.”
I hope you enjoy this very inspirational message.
I stopped by the local car repair shop one recent afternoon, and imagine my shock, dismay and disappointment. This is what I sadly observed. Your trusted, hard-working auto mechanic likely does the exact same thing.
And I thought he was repairing my power dual choker piston harmonic compensator.
Nice work, if you can get it!
These text message abbreviations are often misunderstood:
ttfn ==> ta ta for now
awhfy ==> are we having fun yet?
ggcb ==> good grief charlie brown
acid ==> a crazy ignorant dipshit
adih ==> another day in hell
afahmasp ==> a fool and his money are soon parted
doofus ==> done only on fridays under secrecy
bbamfic ==> big bad ass mother fucker in charge
poahf ==> put on a happy face
fukk ==> foolish, unworthy, knuckleheaded klutz
potato ==> person over thirty acting twenty one
snot ==> style novice over there
puke ==> pucker up kinky elf
tmtowtdi ==> there’s more than one way to do it
krabby ==> killer racks and bodacious babes yonder
stench ==> so that even nitwits can hear
lmkhtwofy ==> let me know how that works out for you
fart ==> fresh and ripe taste
lame ==> let’s all mimic elmo
taco ==> turn and cough only
blah ==> blonde loud asinine hole
dilligas ==> do i look like i give a shit
lshitipal ==> laughing so hard i think i peed a little
hsyrdin ==> holy shit you really did it now
trtftieds ==> that’s really the funniest thing i ever did see
ssistlbts ==> so stupid i started to laugh but then stopped
oatnwttirc ==> only a true nimrod would think that is remotely clever
nittyarttioomm ==> now i’m thinking that you are reading this thinking i’m out of my mind
fu ==> fooled you
This fun word substitution game takes you from DIP STICK to LARD BUTT in 33 amazing steps! Substitute one word at a time until your goal is reached!
Can you go from DIP STICK to LARD BUTT in fewer steps? Give it a try!
I’ve seen cool mascots and I’ve seen cute mascots. Now, thanks to this nifty web page, I’ve seen stupid and ridiculous mascots! Thank goodness I didn’t attend any of these colleges. I would be completely embarrassed to show myself in public.