Tag Archives: absurd

Epic journey to the center of the Earth fails.

I don't know where we went wrong.
I don’t know where we went wrong.

Five years ago, an expedition bravely set out to locate the center of the Earth. Their epic journey began at this manhole.

The explorers have not been heard from since.

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Old man buys nasty poster for retirement home.

Old man selects nasty poster for the retirement home.
Old man selects nasty poster for the retirement home.

Can you believe it? This old man was at the swap meet the other day, barely getting around with a cane. Several people photographed him choosing a nasty poster for his room in a retirement home. Do you think he chose the one on the left, or the one on the right?

Dog runs for mayor of enlightened California city.

Dog runs for mayor of enlightened California city.
Dog runs for mayor of enlightened California city.

A dog named Bones is running for mayor of an enlightened California city. The candidate has posted banners around town and has appeared on television and radio for several groundbreaking interviews. You might find this recent interview by a well-known reporter especially interesting:

Reporter: Thank you again for taking the time to answer a few questions. Why have you chosen to run for mayor of Coronado?

Bones: Woof. Woof.

Reporter: I see. Was this a very difficult decision for you to make? Has your family supported you?

Bones: Woof. Woof. Woof.

Reporter: Should you become the next mayor of Coronado, what exactly will be your agenda?

Bones: Woof.

Reporter: Thank you so very much.

Creepy Batman is just a lonely guy.

Citizens ignore sad Batman, who mopes and shuffles along.
Citizens ignore sad Batman, who just mopes and shuffles along.

Many have suggested that Batman isn’t really a superhero. They’ve put forth the theory that the Caped Crusader is nothing more than a sad, ineffective, lonely guy. And a bit of a creep.

I have two photographs which tend to give weight to this theory.

Here are rare photos of sad Batman out on a lonely walk down a city sidewalk, ignored by hundreds of passing citizens. The bat-obsessed fellow just shuffles along, seemingly in a daze, hiding from the cold, cruel world behind his black costume and bizarre mask.

Perhaps he identifies with the small, hated, flying rodent that is blind and hides all huddled up in darkness underground. Sad Batman seems to head nowhere, a lone figure, an anonymous soul, hungry for human contact, but shunning it.

Batman shuns a young man who passes by.
Batman shuns a young man who passes by.

How to act very weird on a public bus.

A public bus where some people have acted weird.
Another bus where a few people have acted weird.

Just in case you’d like to act extremely weird on a public bus, here are a few good ideas:

1. Show riders a map of New York and ask them for directions to Lake Michigan.

2. Ride in the front seat and act as a colorful tour guide.

3. Tell nearby riders that you’re Elvis.

4. Grab the nearest pole. Pole dance.

5. After slipping on Groucho Marx glasses, test a few of your new snappy jokes on a captive audience.

6. Duck behind your seat and provide a finger puppet show.

7. Use the hand straps for gymnastics.

8. The aisle is your stage. Be a mime!

9. Flap your arms like a chicken.

10. Tell a random stranger “Good morning.”