Tag Archives: crazy

Woman stuck in washing machine for 32 hours.

Boston woman was stuck in washing machine for 32 hours before help was finally rendered.
Boston woman stuck in washing machine for 32 hours.

Local television news yesterday included reports of a woman stuck in a laundromat washing machine for nearly 32 hours. The woman, Bethany Chelker of South Boston, became trapped in the machine the day before while trying to extract a small article of clothing.

Bethany explained that hundreds of bystanders refused to provide her with help. A number of onlookers even made nasty jokes. “I can’t believe how rude some people are,” she said.

City workers finally managed to extract the unfortunate victim, and transported her to a nearby hospital for observation.

Renegade clown captured by vigilant citizens.

Renegade clown captured by vigilant citizens.
Renegade clown captured by vigilant citizens.

Thank goodness. Another clown has been removed from our streets. We can breathe a little easier These renegade clowns seem to be infesting every nook and cranny of our highly cultured civilization. I direct my everlasting gratitude toward these two energetic, vigilant citizens! Round up every clown you encounter! Bind them securely! Tar and feathers!

Living hot dog served to hungry freaks.

living hot dog served to freaks

The food court of this unusual mall serves live hot dogs to hungry, costumed freaks. This photo provides the shocking evidence. A live hot dog is carried about on a tray by the smiling fast food server, and onlookers grin with anticipation and delight. Are these people really that twisted? Are they raving lunatics? One is even wearing a Spidey outfit! I’m appalled and dismayed. I’m surprised the city health department hasn’t shut this disgraceful place down.

A crazy man finds a substitute for tin foil.

this crazy man had no tin foil

What does a crazy person do when no tin foil is available? Well, the answer is obvious. You imitate the daffy, bug-eyed fellow depicted in the above photo.

Even the craziest among us can figure out how to block mind-controlling telepathic vibrations directed our way by conspiratorial dark overlords. Occasionally I put a stovepipe (not a hat–a real stovepipe) on my delicate cranium, just in case.

Shocking truth about car repair shops.

what your auto mechanic actually does

I stopped by the local car repair shop one recent afternoon, and imagine my shock, dismay and disappointment. This is what I sadly observed. Your trusted, hard-working auto mechanic likely does the exact same thing.

And I thought he was repairing my power dual choker piston harmonic compensator.

Nice work, if you can get it!

A beautiful day at the insane asylum.

a beautiful day at the insane asylum

Here I clearly see a beautiful fountain splashing between two towering palm trees with a tropical ocean backdrop. It clearly is spring with so many wonderful birds and the flowers everywhere. Bobbing in the pool is a large inflatable swan. Lying restfully on it, turning the pages of a magazine and sipping an iced tea, is a large beaver.

The man who ate 18 bicycles, 7 televisions and 1 airplane.

A Cessna 150, one of the items Lotito ate.
A Cessna 150, one of the items Lotito ate.

Yes, such an unusual person existed. His name was Michel Lotito. He was one very hungry dude. Hungry for attention, that is.

Bananas and hard-boiled eggs made him sick, but inorganic matter was quite satisfying. He ate:

18 bicycles

15 shopping carts

7 televisions (before there were flat screens)

6 chandeliers

2 beds (I’m not sure if they were bunk beds)

1 pair of skis (mere toothpicks compared to everything else)

1 Cessna aircraft

1 coffin (I’m surprised this didn’t cause indigestion)

1 400 meter long steel chain (for dessert)

Now sing along with Mary Poppins: “Just a teaspoon of mineral oil helps the metal go down…”

I’ll bet his dentist (and the plumber) really loved him!

Goats that can (almost) talk.

This goat probably has lots to say.
This goat probably has lots to say.

Lots of people sound like goats. But have you heard of amazing, talented goats that sound like people? Take a listen!

That one goat who’s especially talkative sounds a bit like one prominent politician, whose name I won’t mention. I’m sure you can guess exactly who.

That other goat sounds remarkably like my nosy next door neighbor.

I’m 97 percent sure my neighbor doesn’t read this blog. He doesn’t read much of anything. But he sure does talk a lot. He hangs his scrawny neck over my fence and rapidly moves his jaws. Kinda like a goat. But I believe an ordinary goat is more literate.

Just kidding.