Tag Archives: tourists

Tourist photographs a fascinating pigeon.

Excited tourist pauses to carefully photograph a fascinating pigeon.
Excited tourist pauses to carefully photograph a fascinating pigeon.

A tourist stopped in his tracks to whip out his cell phone. He was lucky to have discovered a quite fascinating pigeon. Fortunately, the bird didn’t seem to mind the gaping man. Excitedly, the tourist took several snaps, nodded with satisfaction, thrust the phone into his pocket, and hurried on. He had to catch a flight home.

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Weird mutant giant saves helpless tourists.

Holding up the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Holding up the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

As we all know, superheroes don’t really exist. So when a genetic freak, a bizarre mutant giant was born in Italy, it became a serious national problem.

Geovanni, who at the age of 16 measured 149 meters tall, frightened everybody. Normal people considered the boy an ungodly freak and a definite nuisance. For a while he worked in a traveling circus. But after he got tangled in the big tent, it became obvious that no sideshow could hold him. For one truly amazing season he played professional basketball, until finally injuring his back from stooping.

The Pisa Chamber of Commerce finally had a brilliant idea. The Leaning Tower was at the point of tipping over. Instead of reinforcing the foundation, which would cost millions and take several years, they simply hired Geovanni. Tourists are now both perfectly safe and delighted!

Stripper performs for wholesome, happy tourists.

Stripper performs for wholesome, happy tourists.
Stripper performs for wholesome, happy tourists.

It was another sunny Sunday afternoon in the park and everyone was enjoying a beautiful day. The wholesome, smiling tourists were just strolling along, licking ice cream cones, pushing baby strollers, taking it easy, smelling the freshly mowed grass, listening to the sweet music of birdsong, and watching an upside down stripper.

Tourists attacked by leaping killer whale.

Killer whale one second before devouring eight tourists.
Killer whale one second before devouring eight tourists.

A killer whale was photographed the very moment it leapt from the sparkling blue bay, attacking and devouring eight tourists who were out for a leisurely stroll. This photo was taken one second before the innocent tourists succumbed to their fishy fate.

The crumpled clothes of earlier victims are visible nearby on the grass. Avoid this waterfront park at all costs.

Doomed tourists enter a black door to hell.

Sign above black door lures naive tourists into hell.
Sign above black door lures naive tourists into hell.

I’ve seen every kind of tourist trap. This one beats them all.

Lured by the promise of cheap souvenirs, throngs of happy tourists gladly press their way through this ominous black door.

Rumor has it that anywhere from 1000 to 5000 naive tourists have passed through this door.  On the other side, hell awaits.

If you see this cheerful sign, stay clear.

Hong Kong’s palm beach…teepees?

A beautiful day on a Hong Kong beach.
A beautiful day on a Hong Kong beach.

In the event you’re ever in Hong Kong, and you want to stay in a Native American teepee, fortunately there’s an establishment that can meet your needs. Book your stay in a wigwam on Palm Beach!

I’m not sure whether you’ll find any bison roaming about the beach, or any Native Americans for that matter, but who wouldn’t want to travel to Hong Kong just to stay in a tent? It beats packing your own teepee and taking it through airport security. I wouldn’t recommend bringing a tomahawk, either.

I’m beyond excited. I’m making my travel plans now. I wonder if those teepees are furnished with vibrating beds. I’m definitely sending my bow and arrows Fedex. Because Hong Kong is an action-packed metropolis. Those Jackie Chan movies have really inspired me. Wasn’t he in that Asian cowboys and Indians flick?

Weird tourism has never been more…weird.