Tag Archives: farts

Ten ways to get rid of an annoying house guest.

fart zone warning sign
Good-bye.  Farewell.  Good riddance.

Here are 10 extremely effective ways to quickly get rid of that annoying house guest:

1. Ask your guest to let you know if they see the escaped python.

2. Tell them to frequently wash their hands because the cat has worms again.

3. Thank them profusely for their help painting the garage tomorrow.

4. Find that old trombone you played in high school.

5. Tell them Aunt Margie with the defective hearing aid is coming over for dinner.

6. When your guest talks about their spouse, laugh at inappropriate moments.

7. Leave that really bizarre sex toy on the guest room nightstand.

8. Tell them Uncle Bob died in that bed.

9. Itching power in the bedsheets.

10. Eat lots of beans.

Make good money with a weird job.

Where the dedicated fart sniffers work.
Where the dedicated fart sniffers work.

So what if the job market still stinks. It’s time to get creative. Here are the weirdest jobs that actually exist, and I’m sure one of them is suited to you. (If you’re desperate enough.)

Personally, I can’t decide which job I’d enjoy more: the Fish Liver Sorter or the Vomit Collector. Of course, the Worm Picker and Fart Sniffer positions might open up any day now, and I hear the benefits are simply unbeatable. Egads! And I thought I had it bad… I guess I won’t complain too much at work today. (Just once or twice.)

Super nasty smells that many people love.

Some people really like to smell these.
Some people really like to smell these.

Okay, people can be weird. And often are. Most people like the smell of their own farts. What other smells do some people love?

There’s a pretty good chance you like one of these disgusting aromas yourself. Please just don’t admit it. You have to keep up your spotless reputation.