I love the internet. Life has become so much better with it. The coolest stuff ever imagined can be easily found and delivered to your front door with only a few clicks. It’s so convenient!
Take for example this festive middle finger Christmas tree ornament. It would look great among the angels, chains of popcorn and holiday candles. I’m going to get one! It should be here in a few days, just in time to impress my dear mother-in-law!
Thank goodness for the invention of cell phones. Now everybody can capture life’s precious moments with a quick flick of the finger.
My Aunt Bessie was scandalized when an otherwise polite giraffe stuck its long tongue out with sincere derision. The beast craned its neck for a really good look at my horrified relative. Then out came its mocking blue tongue.
I’ve been tempted to do something similar. But, alas, I’m a more civilized creature. All I can do is frame the wonderful photo and place it on the desk in my cubicle.
Local television news yesterday included reports of a woman stuck in a laundromat washing machine for nearly 32 hours. The woman, Bethany Chelker of South Boston, became trapped in the machine the day before while trying to extract a small article of clothing.
Bethany explained that hundreds of bystanders refused to provide her with help. A number of onlookers even made nasty jokes. “I can’t believe how rude some people are,” she said.
City workers finally managed to extract the unfortunate victim, and transported her to a nearby hospital for observation.