Tag Archives: elvis

How to act very weird on a public bus.

A public bus where some people have acted weird.
Another bus where a few people have acted weird.

Just in case you’d like to act extremely weird on a public bus, here are a few good ideas:

1. Show riders a map of New York and ask them for directions to Lake Michigan.

2. Ride in the front seat and act as a colorful tour guide.

3. Tell nearby riders that you’re Elvis.

4. Grab the nearest pole. Pole dance.

5. After slipping on Groucho Marx glasses, test a few of your new snappy jokes on a captive audience.

6. Duck behind your seat and provide a finger puppet show.

7. Use the hand straps for gymnastics.

8. The aisle is your stage. Be a mime!

9. Flap your arms like a chicken.

10. Tell a random stranger “Good morning.”

Test your sanity today!

This guy failed the test.
This guy failed the test.

Have you been questioning your own sanity lately? Here’s an online test that will determine precisely how nuts you are. (Assuming you are nuts.)

The higher the score, the further around the bend you’ve gone. Achieve a perfect score, and you’re perfectly bonkers.

Okay, so this test probably isn’t scientific, but most of the questions seem fairly reasonable. If you believe you can fly, or that you are some sort of deity, or that you are a space alien visiting Earth, chances are a connection in your noodle isn’t quite right. And if you believe Elvis still lives–hey, wait a minute, a significant percentage of ordinary Americans believe Elvis still lives…

Amazing internet: Elvis sightings archive.

Elvis must be nearby.
Elvis must be nearby.

Elvis lives! He’s been sighted thousands of times! He seems to be everywhere! You can find out where by checking out the Elvis sightings website.

Should you be fortunate enough to catch a glimpse of the King, be sure to document your exciting experience. Everybody will believe you, I’m sure!