Tag Archives: brains

How to upload your entire brain to Google.

Human brain in a jar.
Human brain in a jar.

Some visionary futurists have predicted that in 10 years humans will be able to upload their brains to Google.

Don’t they realize it’s already possible?

1. Start a blog.

2. Sit down and quickly type everything that comes to mind. Everything. Every thought. No matter how profound or absurd or insipid. Continue typing and typing and typing until your poor, exhausted brain is completely out of ideas.

4. Publish your blog.

5. Google will index your blog.

6. Your entire, exhausted brain is uploaded to Google.

Thinking too hard will make your head explode.

Pose often adopted before cranial explosion.
Pose often adopted before cranial explosion.

Don’t think too hard about the strange concept of exploding heads. Because your head might explode.

An article has appeared on MIT’s website detailing a rare electrical imbalance of the brain which can cause one’s head to ignite and rupture, spewing half-baked, bubbling gray matter in every direction.

Yes, a bloody explosion of your electrified brain paints a gruesome picture. It activates one’s morbid imagination. It tends to make one think. But don’t think too hard. You might become the next victim. Please don’t read any further if you detect strange sensations right now in the tender region encompassed by your skull. Because if you continue reading and keep on contemplating this mind-shattering phenomenon, your brain will begin to really fire up and out of the blue–boom–your head will probably explode.

Hyper-Cerebral Electrosis (HCE) is nothing to joke about. It’s deadly serious stuff. So don’t laugh. Laughter greatly increases cerebral electrification. By laughing uncontrollably you’ll come dangerously close to losing your brain.

If you’re still laughing and something dire happens, I refuse to be held responsible.

You’ve been warned.