Tag Archives: astronomy

The moon really is made of cheese.

I'm getting hungry.
I’m getting hungry.

…Or at least, the phases of the moon can be demonstrated using cheese and Ritz Crackers!

This is the sort of astronomy project I would have savored as a school kid. Although I would’ve preferred Oreo Cookie moons. Or Moon Pies. (Teachers out there, please pay attention!)

I suppose one could demonstrate orbits using the revolving turntable in a microwave oven. Just pretend the sun is going supernova.

Clean up the solar system afterward with your cosmic paper towel. What fun!

Proof that the Earth is flat.

Proof that the Earth is flat.
Proof that the Earth is flat.

There is substantial scientific evidence that the Earth is flat. If you claim our planet is shaped like a globe, quite frankly, you really don’t know what you’re talking about. You were probably brainwashed as a child by the makers of globes.

Numerous credible scientific experiments demonstrate beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Earth is not curved, but just as flat as a pizza spinning in space like perfectly-rotating dough in a pizzeria. Which begs the metaphysical question: who (or what) throws the dough?

And it’s completely obvious that the sun orbits the Earth. It happens in plain sight.

This might be the biggest conspiracy of all time. That so many people are close-minded concerning this subject is proof that dogmatism and blind faith rule the sadly undeveloped mind of homo sapiens.

Scientists say Aquaman was a Martian.

I think this guy is Captain Caveman's sidekick.
I think this guy is Captain Caveman’s sidekick.

Yes, gentle ladies and gentle men, the water-breathing superhero and ruler of Atlantis, Aquaman, was in fact an actual Martian. This tremendous discovery was recently discussed in great detail by astronomers, theorists and other world-renowned experts.

Do you doubt me? In case you missed the news, it has now been absolutely proven that Atlantis was on Mars. Here’s a fascinating article that discusses the findings of these very thorough researchers. I was stunned to learn that King Tut had actually died on a Martian space shuttle. The photo of a highly-detailed “space shuttle” found in an Egyptian tomb convinced me.

I’m not sure whether the esteemed scientists delved into the secret origin of the Martian Manhunter.