What to do after the world ends.

A near miss.
A near miss.

The world is scheduled to end in three days. Which begs the question: What is one to do after the world ends?

Here are a few helpful ideas:

1. Simply continue your end of the world party. You’ve gone to overtime!

2. Calculate when the next doomsday will be. Schedule that next party accordingly.

3. Go knock on your neighbor’s survival bunker. Tell them helpfully that the sun is still shining. Make sure they don’t come out shooting.

4. Search the horizon for zombies. Their arrival might have been delayed. Perhaps they’re the slow type of zombies, not the fast ones.

5. Sell all your hoarded gold. Buy more booze, just to hold you over until the REAL end of the world.

6. Open up all those hoarded cans of tuna. Provide a feast for your cats. Some of those cans might be a few years old.

7. Convert your bomb shelter into a sex dungeon.

8. Begin to obsessively worry about your bowels, or something more interesting.

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