How to get more stuff from Santa.

This kid will not get much stuff.
This kid will not get much stuff.

Here are several effective ways to get more stuff from Santa Claus this Christmas. Try one, or all. Do not practice where illegal.

1. It might be foggy. Or blizzardy. Install helpful reindeer runway lights on your rooftop.

2. Santa’s weight-loss plan isn’t working. Clear all obstructions from your chimney.

3. Clear up more gift space by chopping off the lowest boughs from your Christmas tree.

4. Loosen up Santa with a plate of rum cookie balls.

5. Mail Santa a letter. Remind him that you have indiscrete pictures of him with an elf.

6. Wait up late in festive red and white fur-lined lingerie.

7. Wait up late to ask him for tangible proof of his existence.

8. Wait up late disguised as an irresistibly cute, curious, sleepy-eyed tyke.

9. Hijack the sleigh.

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