Tag Archives: sex

Funny sign: Try saying these words when drunk.

Funny sign: Try saying these words when you're drunk.

This funny sign proves that beer should not be combined with complex mental activity.

These words are difficult to say after three beers: Indubitably; Innovative; Preliminary; Proliferation; Cinnamon.

These words are difficult to say after four beers: Specificity; British Constitution; Passive-aggressive disorder; Loquacious; Transubstantiate.

These words are almost impossible to say when you’re extremely drunk:

1. Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more booze for me.
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4. Good evening officer isn’t it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I just couldn’t. No one wants to hear me sing.
6. Sorry I’m being such a jackass.

Laugh at the Internet’s nastiest gag gifts!

Why super horny people are interesting.

Sigmund Freud was interested in horny people.
Sigmund Freud was interested in horny people.

I’ve observed that super horny people have a tendency to be very interesting.

I can think of several reasons for this:

1. Super horny people have numerous amazing stories. And amazing stories are always associated with interesting people. Take, for example, the story of Elijah Goldfarb’s improbable conquest of Billy Johnson’s big fat drunk grandmother. Or the story of the thrill-seeking adventurers who went helmet diving in Jamaica and had an underwater orgy.

2. People who are super horny tend to be uninhibited. They’ll have wild sex almost anywhere. At any time. That makes them endlessly interesting. You might recall the instance of the farmer in Essex who built a sex den in his barn loft, and how at a hundred years old he still satisfied the ladies. Or that feature on the local news the other day: how spontaneous sex in women’s shoe stores is becoming quite fashionable. Amazing uninhibited horndogs are all around us. I know an interesting fellow who will always be remembered as the man who had sex in every seat in Dodger Stadium.

3. Extra horny folks are energetic. It’s hard to keep up with them. While you go about your normal, humdrum life, they’re pounding away and having loads of interesting fun.

4. The very horniest people often have a variety of fascinating lovers, affairs, fetishes, erotic toys, kinky rituals, piercings, perversions, addictions, personal issues, pregnancies and diseases. This enhances their life stories and makes them really interesting.

Plastic boobs fishing lure!

Plastic boobs fishing lure.
Plastic boobs fishing lure.

You like boobs. So why wouldn’t a fish?

Your fishing buddies will have a chuckle when you pull this booby-shaped lure out of your tackle box!

Slow day at the lake, river or pier? You’ve tried all your lures? Think you’re out of luck? Not any more! The bass and trout are getting excited… Looks like you be catching a whopper!

A great gag gift, I guarantee this hilarious titty fishing lure will get lots of laughs!

How to have sex almost anywhere!

This would be a terrific place.
This would be a terrific place.

Have nasty sex at a restaurant, the shopping mall or atop the ferris wheel at an amusement park! This website provides info on how to have sex almost anywhere. I suppose the very interesting and helpful list could be augmented. Perhaps you have some ideas of your own. (Your bedroom doesn’t count.)

Really weird Sex Ed videos.

Every banana should engage in safe sex.
Every banana should engage in safe sex.

Remember taking sex education class back in your school days? Remember those fascinating sex diagrams, the lifelike sex props, strange sex terminology and the giggling discomfort mingled with embarrassing tingles? Well, I bet you never saw sex education vids as bizarre and awkward and fascinating as these…

Watch all ten sex ed vids and you’re bound to become a perfect sex expert. Or even more sexually confused, repressed and permanently disturbed…